Why Now?
It’s been a little over a year now. What first began as a trickle, then became a stream, and finally the dam broke, and now there is this explosion of creative energy that’s bursting out of me consistently. I’m at the point now where I know there is no going back. I’ve unleashed something that can no longer be contained, hidden away or ignored. I feel as if I’m finally beginning to step fully into myself, and I feel more alive than I ever have. And the thing I’ve been thinking about recently is…
What took me so long to embrace this side of myself? Why did I ignore the little tugs towards artistry over the years? And why is all of this taking shape for me now?
I think what held me back to begin with was not knowing what it was that I wanted to “say” as an artist. All of the greats, their art transcended the physicality of their creation. They make you think and feel, even hundreds of years after their art was originally put forth into the world. Through their art, they are able to create a REACTION in you that can change the way you view the world. And how intimidating is that? Quiet, timid, 20-something me had no idea who I was, let alone what I stood for or what I wanted to say to the world. That’s not to say that I have that all figured out now, but over the years I’ve done a lot of soul searching about who I am, what I believe in, and certainly now I have a better understanding of the direction I want to go. I also know now that the journey of discovering who I am and what I have to say is a lifelong exploration, and it’s what makes life so exciting.
So, why now? I think timing was everything. For so many, the pandemic put so many things into perspective, and that certainly was the case for me too. In addition to the magnifying glass that was being held up to what really mattered to me, amplified for all of us was the feeling of knowing how short our precious time on this earth is.
Life is just too short to not do the things we love doing.
But I think most importantly, the biggest catalyst, was realizing how hypocritical I was being to my daughters. As they’ve gotten older, I’ve become more and more aware of how they watch and listen to me. They take cues from not only what I say, but what I DO. Who was I to constantly tell them to go for their dreams, when I had already given up on mine? How could I tell them they could be anything they wanted to be, when I wasn’t allowing myself to be what I wanted to be? What kind of cowardly example was I setting for them? As a mother, I needed to show them that it’s always worthwhile to make time to do what you love to do, no matter the outcome. That it’s possible to do so much with short bursts of focused time, if you consistently show up. I want them to know it’s so important to create in a culture that puts so much emphasis on our consumption. I want them to see for themselves how far passion, consistent practice, and dedication can take you in life… And that women can do whatever they want to do!
I share this with you now in case you also need the reminder that…
It’s never too late to start down a new path. Or to revisit one you deserted long ago. Please ask yourself if there something your soul desperately wants to unleash on the world… If so, and you’re not already doing it, p l e a s e g o d o i t ! It’s so incredibly important. The world needs you to do the thing that makes you feel most alive! I will also say that the most wonderful thing I’ve learned so far on this journey is that the little consistent steps are even more important than the big bold actions. Because it’s the little consistent steps that actually transform your life. The little consistent steps are what change the reality of your day-to-day. They are what keep the momentum going and inspire you to show up again tomorrow. So I would also say, please don’t wait until you can make bold moves. Just show up in whatever way you can, today, and then again tomorrow.
Soon you’ll realize you’re in the midst of building the life you always wanted to live.